Most of us keep busy throughout the day, working, traveling, chatting with friends and family, doing housework and shopping. There are a million things we do to keep busy.
Some of us like being alone, and others hate it and avoid it at all costs. So why is it so hard to be alone?
Being alone in life, even for short periods of time can feel daunting. Why are so many people scared or even terrified of being alone? There are several reasons for this.
Keeping ourselves busy or preoccupied can be a distraction from things that are difficult or unpleasant to think about or deal with. They include things like grief and loss, unresolved past issues, divorce, and feelings of emptiness.
Seeking external stimulation outside ourselves, keeps the inner thoughts or fears away. When those inner arise, they can feel so big and threatening that we do anything and everything to keep active and busy. However, when we are alone, those unresolved experiences arise and then being alone feels horrible.
Another reason being alone can feel so scary is that most of us don't take the time to explore our inner lives or selves. Although many people do meditation or mindfulness, many don't and when we are faced with ourselves, that part of our inner being wants to be heard and acknowledged. For many of us, this feels unnatural and even disturbing at times. Who are we really? Do we know ourselves at a deeper level? Do we even want to know who we really are? That personal growth journey is difficult for many.
Learning how to be alone with ourselves is important. We come into the world alone and we leave the world alone. Taking the time to learn how to be at peace with yourself is important. Remember being lonely is different than being alone. When we are ok being alone with ourselves, our world shifts and changes in ways that we find peace, and acceptance, instead of fighting the internal conflict of being lonely and needing someone or something else to fill us up. Being lonely creates an emptiness within us whereas being alone creates an awareness and a fullness of grace.
Take the time to be alone with yourself. If you do, you will discover peace or you will recognize there is some internal healing to do. Either way, learning how to be alone with yourself is a gift. Take the time, you are worth it.