As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I often ask people how they are and the first response I get is “good”. I can usually tell when someone is genuinely feeling good or if they are just using a canned response that we often use when interacting with each other.
I will further question if I suspect someone is not good, which usually leads to the other person admitting that something is wrong.
Many of us struggle to admit when we are having a bad day, or to even acknowledge it to ourselves by pretending to others that life is a bed of roses when actually we do get pricked by the thorns of life from time to time. It’s inevitable; that’s life.
I work with both kids and adults and recently had a session with a 13 year old girl who was not only having a “bad day” but a “bad week”. She shared all the problems and frustrations that she was having and then said, “I can’t always have a good day”.
Words of wisdom from a teen. She truly got it and understood that although she was struggling, that it was ok. We can’t always have a good day and not only is that ok, it’s to be expected. So many people are fearful of not only letting others know that they are struggling, but can’t admit it to themselves. For some, admitting that they are having a bad day can lead to admitting that there are other areas in their lives that are not going well either, but for reasons, they simply cannot or are unwilling to go there. In these cases, healing cannot truly happen as they carry their baggage with them, unopened,
unresolved and unhealed.
The next time someone asks you how you are, don’t answer with a canned answer of “good”. Reflect and see how you are authentically feeling and tell them the truth. If you are feeling wonderful, let them know. If you aren’t doing so well, give yourself permission to accept it, acknowledge it and share it with others.
Not every day is going to be a good day, and that’s ok.